The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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