Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i will never coherently bang her
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
