Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
