either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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