HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i permit you to call me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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