I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
