Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
