the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
