Sry I called you an 8
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
