im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
