Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
