maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
