I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
