For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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