Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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