White coat. Heels.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am available for nakedness
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
