I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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