Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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