yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
