i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
