Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
