He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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