and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
