I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
