Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
