My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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