I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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