After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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