Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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