Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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