I'm passing your future prison.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize