Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
