I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
