so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
