We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
