she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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