i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
