Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize