Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
