Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
