I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
