i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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