i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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