There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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