yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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