Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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