Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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