I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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