I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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