I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
