im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
