Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize