I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
