i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
