Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize