I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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