i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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