And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
