I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
