I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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