the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm always down for nudity.
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