im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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