Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
