i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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