never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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