and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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