I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
