i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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