There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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