there was a trapeze. enough said
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
